Say with every heartbeat, لا إله إلا الله

Sudikah Kau menerima hambaMu yang hina ini?

2010-12-12T02:33:00.000+08:00

Semakin jauh ku dariMu
Semakin dekat pula Kau menghampiri daku
Oh, Tuhan Yang Maha Pengasih
Siapalah diriku di pandanganMu

Semakin cuba ku dekati
Semakin kuat pula Kau mendugai aku
Oh, Tuhan Yang Maha Sempurna
Kerdilnya diriku di hadapanMu

Bagaimanakah nantinya tika berhadapan denganMu
Sudikah Kau menerima hambaMu yang hina ini
Ya Allah Kau Maha Pengampun

Di bayangan mentari aku kealpaan
Dusta dunia penuh kepura-puraan
Di kala dini hari aku kepasrahan
Mendamba jernih embun kasih sayangMu Oh Tuhan

Andainya dihitung amalanku
Belum pasti dapat ku hampiri gerbang syurgaMu
Oh Tuhan Yang Maha Pemurah
Hindari diriku dari siksaMu… Oh Tuhan

Kasih sayangMu Tuhan
Itu yang ku dambakan
Dengan rahmatMu ampunilah diriku..

Work at TTSH

2010-12-11T16:16:00.000+08:00

Alhamdulillah, got a temporary job at Tan Tock Seng Hospital. Im a very happy girl.

I LOVE THE ENVIRONMENT. Its like i dont mind working there permanently hahha but noo, I have to continue studying :p

I work in a room with another PSA lady, a nurse and a doctor =D in an eye clinic. Although i would have preferred to be in the oncology dept, im still so happy being here. I love browsing through the eyenote(thats what they called it), the booklet where the doctor will literally scribble on. heeee. I remembered the first day I went there and looked at how they sort out all the forms in the files of a case sheet, I told myself, that will be the first day and the last day I will be there. It looked so confusing..

My work is basically to help trace and sort out the case sheet for patients coming for pre-operation assessment. So i have to sort out the stuffs, clip here clip there and then send the patient to another room if the patient needs to do Ascan which apparently has to be done if the nature of operation is written as phaco or ECCE. I dont know the difference between these two exactly. From what i read, they are both cataract surgeries but then the incision made in the eye for ECCE is deeper/bigger (im not sure which) than the incision made in the eye for phaco.

If the forms that I get are the normal, standard ones with blood test results, appt card etc, then im quite alright with it already. Its not that hard after all. Sometimes though, there are very very weird pieces of papers, forms and notes attached, with weird handwritings and weird messages. Zzzz thats when i feel like crying coz i wouldnt know what to do with the case sheet and... the patient (where to bring them to etc).

But overall, im loving work (: I hope that as time passes by, i will know more about the different scenarios that can happen for a particular patient and hopefully i can learn more about the... EYE! =D

~ Sya ~

2010-11-23T18:17:00.001+08:00

For all the times you waited for me after lessons
For all the times you would say "hurry" in the toilet
For all the times you would show me your irritated face when i ask you if my tudung is alright
For all the times you saved me during econs lessons
For all the times you'd crack up jokes to make me laugh when im sad
For 'teman'ing me during Maghrib coz its super quiet and eerie at the staircase there
For all your goat stories
For all the sweet memories,

Thank you my dear friend.
May Allah bless you always dear Syahindah (:

Priceless Memories

2010-11-06T23:24:00.000+08:00

Its been about two years since i left Maarif. I miss Maarif, a lot.
I miss my Asatizah. I miss my sisters fillah. I miss reciting the Quran as a class. I miss the "naggings" we get every morning. I miss pushing the tables to make space for "tikar" to pray. I miss how we used to assign who will be the 'imam' for the day. I miss reciting Surah Yaasin every Friday as a cohort. I miss Cik Milah's Nasi Lemak. I miss the library. I miss playing netball and captain's ball with my lovely friends. I miss every single lesson we used to have.

I miss Ustazah Samiah. She taught the class Al-Quran and IRK. I remembered bugging her every time with all sorts of questions and i remember how she used to answer each of my question, so patiently. May Allah bless her always.

I miss Ustazah Qani'ah. She taught the class Hadeeth. I love Hadeeth lessons. I love the way she taught the class. May Allah bless her always.

I miss Ustazah Majidah. She taught the class Tafsir. I remember how i will just read the Malay translation of the Tafsir and hoped that somehow i will be able to translate them back to Arabic during the paper. I miss her alot. May Allah bless her always.

I miss Ustazah Jumuah. She taught the class Fiqh,Faraid and Islamic History.I remembered not understanding Faraid because the fractions looked even more confusing in Arabic. Fiqh lessons were fun though. May Allah bless her always.

I miss Ustazah Zainab. She taught the class Arabic Language and Tauhid. Though i did not enjoy Arabic lessons that much because i cant speak fluent Arabic like some of my friends, i love copying tauhid notes from the screen =D Now that i no longer have Arabic lessons, i badly want to learn it all over again. I miss her lots. May Allah bless her always.

I miss Teacher Aslinah. She was my form teacher. She taught the class Geography. She's a great teacher and she has the nicest handwriting ever. I hope she's doing well. May Allah bless her always.

I miss Teacher Sarah and Teacher Sumirah. They taught the class Biology. I love Biology a lot. Its really my favourite subject but somehow i always did the worst for it :/ But i still love biology anyway. Learning Biology makes you value life more. It shows you just how great Allah is. Lastly it tells you that, the more you know, the more you dont know actually. May Allah bless them always.

I miss Teacher Shariffa. She has a very nice accent. She taught the class English. She used to tell us that her father would keep away all the books when exams are a few days away because by that time she should have been ready and should relax. She's great. May Allah bless her always.

I miss Teacher Nadiah and my physics teacher. I used to do very badly for chemistry and physics :S hmm but it got better =D May Allah bless them always.

I miss Cikgu!! Hehe I love Malay lessons. hahhha. May Allah bless her always.

I miss Ustazah Mahmudah. Guess what she taught the class? A. Maths! She's awesome. I dropped A.Maths halfway though. Dont know what i was thinking. Anyway, May Allah bless her always.

Last, but as always, definitely not the least. I miss Teacher Sharifah Banu. She taught the class E. Maths. She's so cute. She will always start the class by reciting Al-Fatihah. I remember there was once she taught the class halfway and she suddenly stopped. Then she asked the class "Have we recited the Fatihah?" We answered no and she said "that was why i felt something was missing". We stopped the lesson, recited Al-Fatihah and then continued. She really is a very cute and nice teacher. May Allah bless her always.

May Allah bless all the teachers there. I love them a lot. I will never forget the ten years i spent there. The wonderful 10 years (:

Everything happens for a reason (:

2010-10-24T10:27:00.000+08:00

Once upon a time an African king who had a close friend that he grew with. The friend had a habit to face each situation that happened in its life (positive or negative) saying: "That is good! Almighty Allah knows more".

The king and his friend one day left for a hunt. The friend loaded and prepared the weapons for the king. Apparently, the friend had made something missed in the preparation of one of the weapons, the king shot and it took his thumb away. When examining the situation, the friend observed as always: "That is good! Almighty Allah knows more". The king answered, "No, this is not good", he commanded the soldiers who arrested his friend and put him in the prison. After one year, the king was hunting in a region where, cannibals appeared, and captured the king and took him to their village. They tied his hands, and piled up the firewood. When the cannibals came closer to the fire they noticed that the king did not have the thumb. As they were superstitious, they never ate who had a part of his body missing.

Thus, after setting the king free, they banished him from the village. When the king arrived at its palace, remembered the incident about his thumb and felt remorse for the treatment given to his friend. Immediately, he pays a visit to the prisoner to speak with his friend. "You were right", said the king. "It was good that I lost my thumb". The king started to tell his friend everything that happened to him. "I am sorry that I have ordered you to prison for such a long period. It was a great mistake". "No", the friend said, "That was the good decision, because Almighty Allah knows more". "What do you mean by that? How it can be good decision? I ordered my best friend to prison?" The friend answered: "Remember that Almighty Allah knows more and if I was not in the prison certainly I would be with you in the hunt". Then you know what would have happened with me?

"He knows what is before them and what is behind them and to Allah are all affairs turned back". Noble Qur'an, Surah Al Hajj (22:76)

Do not judge the facts or events for the immediate results! Almighty Allah, the Highest, the Omniscient and the Wise, knows more.

When we faced by circumstances that are no good, we react quickly, "This is not good." but, perhaps we did not know the reason behind it. It can become a good thing also. Hence, from next time onward, when we face any type of situation. Let us not jump into any conclusion, always remember. This life is a test. The good and the bad, nothing happen without any reason. Our mind is not prepared to understand the reason.

Wonderful story about Da'wah

2010-10-23T22:58:00.001+08:00

Every Friday afternoon, after the Jummah service at the Central Mosque, the Imam and his eleven year old son would go out into their town and hand out "Path to Paradise" and other Islamic literature.

This particular and fortunate Friday afternoon, as the time came for the Imam and his eleven year old son to go to the streets with their booklets, it was very cold outside, as well as pouring rain.

The boy bundled up in his warmest and driest clothes and said, 'OK, dad, I am ready!' His 'Al Mualim' dad asked, 'Ready for what?'

'Dad, it's time we gather our tracts together and go out.' Dad responds, 'Son, it's very cold outside and it's also pouring rain.'

The boy gives his dad a surprised look, asking, 'But Dad, are not people still going to hell, even though it's raining?' Dad answers, 'Son, I am not going out in this weather.'

Despondently, the boy asks, 'Dad, can I go? Please?' His father hesitated for a moment then said, 'Son, you can go. Here are the booklets. Be careful son.' 'Thanks, Dad!'

And with that, he was off and out into the rain. This eleven year old boy walked the streets of the town going door to door and handing everybody he met in the street a pamphlet or a booklet.

After two hours of walking in the rain, he was soaking, bone chilled wet and down to his very last booklet. He stopped on a corner and looked for someone to hand a booklet to, but the streets were totally deserted.

Then he turned toward the first home he saw and started up the sidewalk to the front door and rang the door bell. He rang the bell, but nobody answered. He rang it again and again, but still no one answered. He waited but still no answer.

Finally, this eleven year old Dawah (Inviting to the way of submission and surrender to Allah) expert turned to leave, but something stopped him. Again, he turned to the door and rang the bell and knocked loudly on the door with his fist. He waited, something holding him there on the front porch!

He rang again and this time the door slowly opened. Standing in the doorway was a very sad looking elderly lady. She softly asked, 'What can I do for you, son?'

With radiant eyes and a smile that lit up her world, this little boy said, "Ma'am, I am sorry if I disturbed you, but I just want to tell you that 'Allah really loves and cares for you' and I came to give you my very last booklet which will tell you all about God, the real purpose of creation, and how to achieve His pleasure."

With that, he handed her his last booklet and turned to leave. She called to him as he departed. 'Thank you, son! And God Bless You!'

Well, the following Friday afternoon after Jummah service the Imam was giving some lectures. As he concludes the lectures, he asked, 'Does anybody have questions or want to say anything?'

Slowly, in the back row among the ladies, an elderly voice was heard over the speaker. As the voice went on, a hint of glorious gaiety and contentment was plainly evident in it even though she was not to be seen, "No one in this gathering knows me. I have never been here before. You see, before last Friday I was not a Muslim. My husband passed on some time ago, leaving me totally alone in this world. Last Friday, being a particularly cold and rainy day, it was even more so in my heart that I came to the end of the line where I no longer had any hope or will to live.

So I took a rope and a chair and ascended the stairway into the attic of my home. I fastened the rope securely to a rafter in the roof then stood on the chair and fastened the other end of the rope around my neck. Standing on that chair, so lonely and brokenhearted I was about to leap off, when suddenly the loud ringing of my doorbell downstairs startled me. I thought, I will wait a minute and whoever it is will go away.

I waited and waited, but the ringing doorbell seemed to get louder and more insistent and then the person ringing also started knocking loudly. I thought to myself again, 'Who on earth could this be? Nobody ever rings my bell or comes to see me.' I loosened the rope from my neck and started for the front door, all the while the bell rang louder and louder.

When I opened the door and looked I could hardly believe my eyes, for there on my front porch was the most radiant and angelic little boy I had ever seen in my life. His smile, oh, I could never describe it to you! The words that came from his mouth caused my heart that had long been dead to leap to life as he exclaimed with a cherub like voice, 'Ma'am, I just came to tell you that Allah really loves and cares for you!' Then he gave me this booklet, 'Path to Paradise' that I now hold in my hand.

As the little angel disappeared back out into the cold and rain, I closed my door and read slowly every word of this book. Then I went up to my attic to get my rope and chair. I would not be needing them any more.

You see, I am now a happy vicegerent of the One True God. Since the address of your congregation was stamped on the back of this booklet, I have come here to personally say Thank You to God's little angel who came just in the nick of time and by so doing, spared my soul from an eternity in hell.

There was not a dry eye in the mosque. And as shouts of Takbir! Allahu Akbar (God is the greatest)! rented the air, even among the ladies.

The Imam (dad) descended from the pulpit to the front row where the little angel was seated. He took his son in his arms and sobbed uncontrollably.

Probably no Jamaat (Assembly) has had a more glorious moment and probably this universe has never seen a Papa that was more filled with love and honor for his son, except for one, this very one.

You are the best community evolved for mankind; you enjoin the right conduct and forbid indecency and you believe in Allah. Noble Qur'an (3:110)

Invite to the way of your Lord with wisdom and beautiful preaching and argue with them in ways that are best and most gracious. Noble Qur'an (16:125)

Sayyidul Istighfar

2010-10-16T11:19:00.002+08:00

On the authority of Shaddad ibn Aws, may Allah be pleased with him, the Prophet S.A.W said, “The chief of prayers for forgiveness is:

اللهم انت ربي لا اله الا انت
خلقتني وأنا عبدك
وأنا على عهدك ووعدك ما استطعت
أعوذ بك من شر ما صنعت
أبوء لك بنعمتك علي, وأبوء بذنبي
فاغفرلي فإنه لا يغفر الذنوب إلا أنت

O Allah! You are my Cherisher. There is no deity except You. You have created me and I am Your servant and as far as possible, I abide by my solemn promise and covenant (which I made to You). I seek Your protection against the consequences of my wrongdoings. I fully acknowledge the grace You have bestowed upon me and I confess my faults. So pardon me my sins as none besides You can pardon sins.

The Prophet S.A.W added, “If somebody recites it during the day with firm faith in it and dies on the same day before the evening, he will be from the people of Paradise and if somebody recites it at night with firm faith in it and dies before the morning he will be from the people of Paradise.”

Sahih Al-Bukhari, Volume 8, Book 75, Number 318

Sisters fillah (:

2010-10-12T20:26:00.003+08:00

I got a very random sms from a friend. She said "Just do your best, and let Allah do the rest :)"

It might seem like a simple message but somehow it means a lot to me. The message came at a perfect time. Its like as if she knows what im feeling. Its some kind of encouragement, so different from the ones i get in school. The best thing is that, she's not even here with me. The only time i got a chance to talk to her this year was during "raya outing" and that was all.

This is the reason why i love Maarif alot. This is the reason why the decision to go to SR was a hard one. I have been blessed with great friends, great teachers. My friends are awesome people. Never fail to remind me if im not doing the right thing, never fail to give me good advice. They are people i know i can rely on. I love them a lot, fillah. May Allah bless them always.

Oh Dear Cats!

2010-06-26T14:15:00.005+08:00

I want a big lawn
a very big one
you know
that kind of a perfect lawn
with a big 'playground'
a really big one
and i will go around
take all stray cats
put them there
Make the place their home
Let them play
and have fun
Feed them
till they become chubby and cute
Plant little trees
so they can go tree-climbing hee
I wish i wish
I could do that
for cute little beings
we call cats.

STUDY AGAIN

2010-06-24T08:51:00.003+08:00

Had a great time studying with Buvana yesterday. We were studying when we suddenly got hungry and we went around Kovan like some lost kids, looking for food. We ended up eating at Zi Qi. After that we went to Macdonalds to study because we cant be bothered to go back to school. Study study talk talk eat and study again. I tried doing Prelim papers but ended up reading back my lect notes. -.- Oh well.

Want to meet dear S4P08 netballers but cant. They're having training for intermad tmr. Miss them soo very much. After As, will definitely meet up with them. Some of them, actually, most of them going to Al-Azhar soon and im going to miss them even more. I also want to go Mesir....to see the pyramids. Heeh. Actually i also want to explore Jami' Al-Azhar. hmm but must brush up my Arabic language first. After As after As.

Can I ever be like him?

2010-06-17T14:18:00.007+08:00

MasyaAllah, soo amazing. These people who put aside whatever they are doing, no matter what, because the time has come for them to pray. (:

A Thousand Times

2010-06-12T11:18:00.002+08:00

A thousand miles i'd run and walk, a thousand times i'd slip and fall but for you, i'd do it again a thousand times

InsyaAllah

2010-06-11T16:42:00.003+08:00

My mid year results are scary. So scary that i feel like quitting school right now. I only have less than 5 months to work on my subjects. Will i even make it for the A Levels? I shall just be positive. InsyaAllah, I will make it. I didnt sacrifice to get rubbish and so i must work hard and get good results for A Level. Sometimes i wonder why is it that i didnt continue with Madrasah. I guess its always when something is no longer with you that you start to appreciate it.

Its ok, i have my Sunday class and im really thankful for that. Going to Sunday classes is really the best way to end the week! The teachers are so interesting and there are lots of different modules to learn. Ouh and i got back my results for two of the modules. Alhamdulillah =D i love fiqh munakahat and sains Islam. This Sunday i have exam though, asas psikologi dan kaunselling, one of the more difficult module :S hopefully i can make it, InsyaAllah.

Came across this song, wonderful one.

What more can i say? InsyaAllah, hopefully everything will go smoothly.

Children. Never underestimate them.

2010-05-28T13:50:00.004+08:00

I feel like doing a hypothesis testing, looking at the word underestimate.

My ustazah told the class this story. One day, a primary 2 kid ask her "Ustazah, why cant we see Allah?" My ustazah was thinking how to answer this young kid, when another primary 2 kid volunteered to answer. Guess what she answered?
"You know, we cant even look directly at the sun. If we go near the sun, we'll get burnt. If we cant even look at the sun, then how can we look at Allah, the creator of the Sun?"
Im amazed, considering it came from an eight years old girl. MasyaAllah.

Its just amazing. Im happy (:

Who next? your mother. Who next? your mother. Who next? your mother, and then your father...

2010-05-24T20:38:00.005+08:00

Watched "Akukah tanggang" yesterday despite having a paper today :S The ending was nice (i dont like sad endings so yea). The whole drama, the fact that he got married, severed ties with his mother, getting sick and not getting the chance to ask for her forgiveness cause she died, was just a BAD dream he had while he was in a coma due to an accident.

I was relieved! Goodness. At first i was so angry and sad because the ending was very tragic. Nauzubillah min zalik. Allah protect us from that kind of a situation. But really, it is a sin to not respect your mother, what more treat her badly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man came to the Prophet and said, ‘O Messenger of God! Who among the people is the most worthy of my good companionship? The Prophet said: Your mother. The man said, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man further asked, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man asked again, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your father. (Bukhari, Muslim). (:

Must treasure them when they're still with us (:
Love you Ibu!

~ 2012 ~

2009-11-21T09:04:00.003+08:00

OMA!! Its been such a long time since i last blogged. Hahah ok too busy maybe. I have so much to say. Lets start with 2012. I was super eager to watch it that i kept pestering my mum to buy the tickets. Im not the kind of person who watches movies but i dont know why this 2012 movie just attracted me. Haha might be because its suppose to be the end of the world.

Watched it, cried, but one thing for sure, its ridiculous that they called that the end of the world when there are still people surviving it. But again, i guess its for the best that they ended it that way because some people like me wont be able to accept the sad truth about how the end of the world is going to be. Yeah. The story also showed how selfish people are: that they want to save themselves and not others. Selfish people. I cant imagine how is it that people can live their life happily when they know that others are killed because of their actions. Eeiish. Im so angry just talking about it. Oh well.

Ok next thing. This is like way overdue but im going to say it anyway. PW is over!! haha. I am so happy. Though Ms Yeo is a very very nice teacher, i felt that PW has "tortured" me for the past 8 months. Finally, its over. Phew!

Next, see, i have so much to say. haha. Malay "A" Level is over. Finally, but i am going to miss Malay. One thing that i found out about government school's students is that majority of them do not like Mother Tongue Language. I wonder why.. To me, Malay is a wonderful language. Same goes to Chinese language (though its kinda hard). As for Arabic,its the most beautiful language =D Talking about that, i feel so sad that theres no more Arabic lessons. Haha I miss Maarif badly. My Arabic is failing like crazy ): Oklah. Thats about it. If I go on, this post will be super long. Hahha

FIRST OF OCTOBER TWO THOUSAND AND NINE

2009-10-01T22:28:00.004+08:00

Hmm, chemistry was super hard. Its going to pull down my whole promo points, which means that....

I had expected it anyway but i am so sad that it has to be on my birthday. I told myself, this is going to be the worst birthday ever. When i woke up that morning, i forgot that it was my birthday. All that was inside my mind was chemistry chemistry and chemistry and promos. Thats it. It was so sian that i logged in to facebook and that was when i saw all the wishes from my dear friends. It was so nice. For a moment i didnt think about chem, but yea after a while it came back.. The journey to school was TERRIBLE. Every step led me closer to doom. SHEESSH! When i reached school i told myself, thats it, i just have to face it. Its my fault anyway. The 2 hours of chem-- It was torturous. I didnt feel like celebrating anymore.

I went out with my mum. We were looking for some stuffs when i suddenly told her that i want to go to the arcade. My mum was like 'huh?' Then i was also 'huh'ing at myself. Why would i want to go to the arcade? Hahha super random. But my mum actually called up a few places asking for the nearest arcade. It was already late in the afternoon and i know shes super tired bcoz she just came back frm work, but she still layan'ed' my kerenah That was so sweet of her. THANK YOU IBU (: We played the basketball thing, and shooting.. Woo then we played this game, its something like guitar geek but its with drums. Hahha i played super badly.

I reached home super tired. My sister and brother was having their tuition. After that my mum called me out. I sat down and they started singing the birthday song hee then i cut my 'cake'. Then very unexpectedly, my sis brought out a present. It was super unexpected coz i was having a big fight with her and my bro for the past few weeks. I opened up the present and what i saw really made me feel so touched. It was full of goodies. First theres a Koko Crunch Big Pack. Wow Azreena chose that for me i think. The theres a tin of Nescafe. Aah Ammar chose that for me. I really underestimated that six year old brother of mine. When i asked him why, he said that because this few days i started drinking Nescafe to keep myself awake to study thats why he bought that for me. Then theres this umm the 'ten cents coloured ice' (i dont know what it is called exactly). I used to buy that a lot like packets and packets of them and my siblings would do that too. Then i will exchange with them the ice coz i only like the orange and green colour ones. Haha guess what, they bought that for me too but theres only the green and orange coloured ones. Theres a lot more,i wouldnt want to talk about it. Its going to take forever. Umm then Ammar brought out another present. Ouhh Adlina bought these. Theres super lots of stationeries. The best part was that it was all blue in colour!! I think she went to every shelf and took a blue coloured stationery. Hee. So yea.. regardless of my chemistry which really made me sad.. i had quite a nice birthday. THANK YOU ALLAH THANK YOU EVERYONE (: